It is easy to get married—it is difficult to stay married. I can’t recall where I first heard those words, but truer words have rarely been spoken. For decades studies have shown that approximately half of the marriages in our society end up in divorce. Those are staggering results, and the disappointing thing to me is that there is not much of a difference between Christian marriages and secular marriages.
Debby and I have made countless mistakes in our marriage—some that could have resulted in tragic consequences. But for the grace of God, our mistakes and sin could have resulted in divorce and we could have been yet another failed marriage statistic.
Discovering Your Amazing Marriage is a collection of our thoughts and convictions on marriage that we have compiled to encourage couples to discover that marriage truly can be amazing.
To some degree it is a mindset. It is a realization that love is a choice and that the state of our marriage is also a choice. There have been times in our relationship that we struggled mightily and we didn’t know where to turn or how to make improvements. We knew that our marriage wasn’t working but we didn’t have the answers.
We were fortunate enough to have several couples come alongside us as mentors and counselors. They modeled a Christ-centered relationship and taught us how to communicate, how to love, how to put one another as our top priority, and how to survive the firestorms of life.
We wrote Discovering Your Amazing Marriage to give our readers a glimpse of the struggles we had in our relationship and to encourage and equip them to avoid some of the mistakes and poor choices we have made. We’re not proud of some of the choices we’ve made but God is providing us an opportunity to use the lessons we’ve learned to encourage others and promote healthy marriages.
We encourage couples to ‘stay the course’ and through the pages of our book we provide tools and steps they can use to move their marriage from mediocre to amazing. It is designed for both spouses to read the book and work together to make changes and begin to value one another and their marriage in ways not previously done. We want people to see that they don’t need to settle for mediocrity, but that they can achieve excellence in their relationship and enjoy a truly amazing marriage.
While it is ideal for both couples to do this together, we realize that in some cases, one person may need to be the catalyst for change and he or she may read the book alone and initiate the ideas we present. If you sense that your relationship is not where you want it to be but your spouse doesn’t care to invest in your marriage, there may still be hope for you. Pray for your spouse continually and make the changes in your attitude and behavior that God is calling you to make. Trust God to work on the heart of your spouse.
Too often we meet couples who have “settled” into a routine of mediocrity and we see that they are comfortable with the state of their relationship. They don’t pour themselves into making their relationship grow and thrive and they miss out on what they are capable of achieving. They miss out on the best that God intended them to have. We want couples to know that moving their relationship from mediocrity to amazing will take work on their part, but that it will be worth the effort!
Our process has worked for us over the years and we often are asked, “What is it about you two,” or “What do you two have in your marriage that we don’t have—because we want it.” In our book you will find ideas and techniques we use everyday to improve communication and to clarify expectations—which are key elements in keeping our marriage amazing. We discuss practical ways of putting one another first and steps you can take to protect your marriage from outside influences.
In today’s day and age where disposable marriages are rampant, we want to challenge couples to buck the system and to stay married despite their problems and misunderstandings. We encourage couples to stay together and to be happy and content while doing it.
Our call is to encourage couples that the Holy Spirit can and will transform marriages. It is our goal to help lay a foundation for future marriages, as more and more children are brought up by parents who are completely and totally committed to one another and to their marriage.
Our book format is unique in that it is geared towards both the Christian and non-Christian alike. This study guide is different however, as it is designed specifically for the believer in Jesus Christ. It is intended to accompany the book and provide a deeper understanding of a Christ-centered marriage, but can also be used as a stand-alone study tool.
However you use this study guide—individually, together as a couple, or in a small group setting—we pray that you are challenged to make Christ the center of your relationship and that you put Him first in all things.
Yours to Count On,
Jason & Debby